I should not have.

Soooo I’m back again.

Being obsessed with BTS means having to find ways to see them when they are currently not actively promoting and visible.  They are currently resting and their Wings tour will resume in a few days, so needy me needed to find a way to not miss them so much.  I decided…to read BTS fanfiction.

I don’t really like reading fanfictions because they are generally written haphazardly and since I am a reader, I know I’ll be annoyed reading something written by a person who has no business writing.  That being said, I searched online for the most well written BTS fanfiction and I came across a story that evolves around Jikook — meaning JImin and JungKOOK.  I was hesitant at first because as much as I love those Jikook youtube videos where they’re bromancing to the fullest, I wasn’t sure that I was ready to read something that is full on romance — especially since these two are my my biases in BTS.  I said to myself, fuck it.  YOLO, right?

I read one that is full on pornographic — it was like reading Fifty Shades of Grey, only more real because I can actually put actual faces on the two leads.  I thought the sex was going to turn me off, but I was suprised to find myself wanting to know what happens to the story next, and feeling that the sex parts are just a necessary part of their budding romance.  Is that weird?

I still don’t think they’re gay, but I found myself being okay with it they are.  Heaven help me.

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M Countdown

So BTS made their comeback official at M Countdown.  They sang both title tracks, and I must say that they slayed both the performances.  Spring Day surprised me more, I expected them to just stand there and sing it since it’s a ballad but they had choreo and it was a masterpiece.  It suited Jimin the most, his contemporary roots really shone through.

Not Today was fire.  It was explosive and the choreography was divine.  At the last second though, Jeon Jungkook decided to be rude and winked.  I almost had a fucking heart attack.  He used to so timid and innocent — now he is a disrespectful beast who’s ready to kill you.  He knows what he is doing, this boy.

Here are the performances:

Bangtan Sonyeondan.

SOOOOOOOO!

I haven’t been posting anything lately since I have been very busy with school, work and FilCan Idol.  I’m not complaining though, this is exactly what I wanted.  It’s harder than I thought it would be, but I’m powering through.

2Aside from all that, I am presently obsessed with a South Korean band BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan).  I realize that I am way too old to be fangirling, but I cannot help myself.  These group of young men are impressive in every sense of the word.  They are the most talented yet incredibly humble human beings.  I am not ashamed to be an ARMY (their fandom) at this age.

I love them all, but I gotta say that I am definitely leaning towards their maknae, Jeon Jungkook.  Name it, he has it — looks, dance prowess, skillful set of hands (drawing), athlete and most of all — his voice is ethereal.  No wonder he is called the golden maknae.

I’m seeing them on March 23!  BANG BANGTAN!

 

Happy 36th to me!!!

Wow.  I am old.

I did not celebrate my birthday yet.  I’m going to celebrate it on Friday when I can sleep late the day after.  Nothing big, just dinner with my roomie.  His birthday is 3 days from mine so we always celebrate it as one.

This particular birthday is significant for me because this is the year I start to change my life and finally go after something I have wanted for years.  This is also the year where I felt freedom — real freedom.  This year revealed many things for me.

I thank God for another year.

August I love you!!!

August is coming.  It only means school is starting — and that means my new life begins.  It will be hard, probably even unbearable, but I will power through.  I want it THAT much.

I am beyond excited to go back to school but at the same time I can’t help but feel nervous.  This is a brand new experience for me.  The school system here might be completely different from what I was exposed to in the Philippines and the course I am planning to take is no cakewalk either.  I really have to up my game, let go of distractions and concentrate on studies and studies alone.  Everything else goes down the list.

Now on to other things…

I was surprised to see soooo many people, children and adults alike going gaga over Pokemon Go.  I did not understand the hype…until I downloaded the app myself.  I AM OBSESSED!  I literally walk 4 blocks home to stop by Pokestops and walk around to hatch my eggs.  There is something very addictive about catching them all.

Who’s your favorite Pokemon?

Finally!

Dreams do come true.

I’ve never felt complete because I was never able to go to college and finish my studies.  A lot of factors (migrating to a new country, work, language, the list goes on) blocked me into actually going back to school but FINALLY this year I was able to actually do it.  It scared me to just let go of my stable and reliable source of income/job, but I figured you have to sacrifice some things in order to fulfill something.  I’m not getting any younger so I pushed myself to take the leap this year.

It will be difficult, I’ll probably cry when I’m broke or miss the things I was able to do when I had a full time job, but it’s worth it.  I just know it and I feel it in my gut.

Wish me luck!

 

2016!

SOOOOO!!!

Let me start off by saying Happy New Year!  2015 was an ok year for me.  It started out awesome but ended up kinda MEH!.  I’m hoping that 2016 will be better although I think that it is completely up to me.  If there is anything about me that I need to change, it has to be my fear of letting go — I tend to hold on to things and people even if in reality I don’t use it anymore or in case of people, I don’t enjoy hanging out with them anymore or I really cannot stand the way they are.  I unintentionally let go of people that in all honesty made me feel suppressed and enslaved.  That may not necessarily be their intention but I just feel used at times.  I didn’t like how things ended but in a way I am relieved that it did end.

I have to take care of school this year.  2016 is the year I take charge and change my life!