Je suis…

I will never be whole.

That’s what I thought to myself when I left home- the country where I was born and raised. I said I could never be happy because there is no other place like home.

Manila, Philippines was the best place for me, its warmth and comfort unrivaled.  It is a magical place where friendships were forged and lives were lived to the fullest.  I did not want to give this strange land a chance.

I arrive at Quebec, Canada, my mind set on not appreciating the cold weather, the powdery snow, the clean, crisp air and the open space.  I missed my friends, I missed my life.  For five years I convinced myself that I would never love this country and its strange language.

Little by little, I started noticing things here and there.  I learned the language.  I appreciated the way the leaves changed colors in autumn.  I started enjoying the four seasons, learned how to adapt, opened myself to new things, started meeting new people.  I started to live.

Of course I still miss home.  It will always be home to me.  I just opened myself to the possibility of having two homes.  I realized that distance won’t sever a bond of friendship that is strong and true.  I learned that letting my heart accept my new home does not mean that I betrayed my previous one.  My heart is big enough to love both.