My story so far.

In my 40 years of existence here on Earth, I have learned quite a few lessons in life. Some of them are good, but majority, unfortunately, shook my core and changed me forever. In no way, shape, or form am I saying that I am a victim, or naïve. I think it’s the fact that I consider myself smart and unyielding that caused me to be unguarded and vulnerable to the harsh realities in life.

I met a lot of people, each one different than the next, and most of them I fought hard to keep in my life. I lost most of them — some I lost because distance did not make the heart grow fonder. There are a good chunk of them I lost because of well, me being who I am. Most people think of me as someone who is blunt and rough. I am unapologetic, I say what’s in my head. That’s one lesson I learnt the hard way: Not everyone appreciates the truth. They want praise, accolade, rewards. They do not appreciate it if you tell them what most people say in hushed tones behind their backs. I learned how to distinguish who I can be 100% honest to. There aren’t many of them.

Second thing I learned: Even if you have just one friend, it’s okay, as long as he or she is true. Now at 41, I kept a minuscule group of people that I can call friends. You can count them by hand — it used to make me feel as if I’m pathetic, but now, I feel blessed to have them in my life. I will never trade them for anything.

Third: You are who you are, and it’s okay that the rest of the world does not accept you, as long as you accept yourself. Love has to start from YOU. It will still sting when rejection comes, but recovery is faster once you accept who you are. NEVER pretend to be someone you are not.


Published by iamkristiannej

I want to live but I'm too afraid to take the leap.

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